"We know dangerous men walk among us. What we can't be sure of is who they are or where they hide. So the most we can offer any stranger is reasonable doubt. But once the doubt is gone, people are anything but reasonable."
Lynette: "I am telling you, our neighbor is a pedophile, and I expect you to do something about it."
Cop: "Mrs. Scavo, he's not listed on any sex offender registry. He's never had so much as a traffic ticket."
Lynette: "He's a single man with a basement full of toys!"
Cop: "I understand your concern, but we can't book a guy on possession of toys."
Lynette: "You don't get it. His house had this creepy vibe. Tell him, Tom."
Tom: "I never went down to the actual room..."
Lynette: "Okay, he wasn't there. He doesn't know. Look, he had a wall full of pictures of half-naked boys in swimsuits."
Cop: "Didn't you say he was a swim coach?"
Lynette: "What are you, his lawyer?"
Tom: "You have to admit, it's odd."
Cop: "Here's what's odd...if your neighbor had something to hide, why'd he invite you in to see all of his stuff?"
Lynette: "He wasn't technically home when I went inside."
Cop: "So you broke in?"
Lynette: "The door was open...I was bringing him a cake."
Cop: "A cake?"
Lynette: "It was a thank you cake. He sort of saved my life."
Tom: "She didn't know that he was a pedophile when she baked the actual cake."
Lynette: "He doesn't care about the cake, Tom."
Tom: "Why are you snapping at me?"
Lynette: "I'm not snapping at you."
Tom: "You're totally snapping."
Lynette: "I am snapping because there is a monster across the street, and Barney Fife here is making me sound like the bad guy!"
Tom: "Look, I'm sorry. She's been under a lot of stress, hasn't slept well."
Lynette (from the other room): "You better not be apologizing for me!"
Tom: "Gotta go."